1. Always begin the day with connecting with your partner, children, or relative before the madness of the day begins, i.e. eye contact and a wish for a good day etc.
  2. Compile a list of things you value about your partner on a good day, to remind yourself about when having an argument with them.
  3. Make sure when you leave each other for away stays, you work hard to part on a peaceful note, the same goes before going to bed as toxicity builds up in our nervous tissue and muscles over night.
  4. When looking at your partner or relative remind yourself of what it was like on the best day you can remember with them. Store that memory in the back of your mind so that you can appreciate the true reason you’re with that person, and not sweat the small stuff. If you don’t have any fond memories, move on as the grief you experience together is endangering your health.
  5. When speaking about something important to someone significant in your life, imagine you’re an alien to them, and them to you. Imagine stepping inside their shoes during a disagreement, to hear their perspective over and above yours even though you might not agree. Then validate the understanding back to them, of what you heard. This will strengthen your chance to be heard or understood from your perspective. Try the other way of vying for attention, and you’ll surely end up in communication breakdown.
  6. Develop your tolerance in life, by opening to peoples’ differences to you. You will gain a flexible outlook which will reflect in your body functioning long term.
  7. If someone has done you a wrong, practice the art of compassion. Utilise the Compassion Exercise from the Avatar ReSurfacing Book, which goes like this:

 

Avatar Compassion Exercise

 

This exercise can be done anywhere that people pass time. (airports, events, beaches etc). It should first be done on strangers, unobtrusively and from some distance.

Try to do all five steps on the same person.

  1. Gazing at the person, repeat to yourself: “JUST LIKE ME, this person is seeking some happiness for his/her life.”
  2. Gazing at the person, repeat to yourself: “JUST LIKE ME, this person is trying to avoid suffering in his/her life.”
  3. Gazing at the person, repeat to yourself: “JUST LIKE ME, this person has known sadness, loneliness and despair.”
  4. Gazing at the person, repeat to yourself: “JUST LIKE ME, this person is seeking to fill his/her needs.”
  5. Gazing at the person, repeat to yourself: “JUST LIKE ME, this person is learning about life.”

As one begins to experience compassion, the exercise can be done on anybody you have a reaction to, enemies, present in one’s imagination if not physically. The exercise can also be done beneficially with spouses.

 

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